Supporting Children with a Medical Diagnosis

Jackie Miller, PsyD

As a parent, hearing that your child has been diagnosed with a medical condition can feel overwhelming. You might be facing a whirlwind of emotions—from fear and worry to uncertainty about what comes next. It is also important to recognize that your child is also experiencing their own version of this journey and it is normal to feel uncertain about how to support their emotional experience. Whether it’s a chronic illness, a developmental condition, or a sudden diagnosis, helping your child cope with a medical diagnosis in a way that fosters understanding and resilience is just as important as managing their physical health.

Practical tips for supporting your child’s psychological and emotional well-being during this time:

1. Create an Open and Honest Dialogue

Children often sense when something is wrong, even if they don’t fully understand the situation. Creating an open and honest conversation about their diagnosis, in an age-appropriate way, can alleviate some of their fears. You don’t have to have all the answers, and it’s okay to admit when you don’t. Reassure your child that they can ask questions whenever they need to and that you’re there to support them every step of the way.

Tip:

Use simple, straightforward language when explaining their diagnosis. Avoid overwhelming them with medical jargon. For example, instead of saying, “You have Type 1 diabetes, and your pancreas isn’t producing insulin,” you could say, “Your body needs a little extra help to get energy from food, so you’ll be taking medicine every day to feel better.”

2. Empower Them with Knowledge

Knowledge can be a powerful tool to reduce fear. Depending on your child’s age and maturity level, sharing information about their condition can help them feel more in control. This might include explaining the purpose of treatments, medications, or doctor’s visits. For older children, encouraging them to research their condition (with your guidance) can foster a sense of autonomy.

Tip:

Find child-friendly books or resources that explain their diagnosis in a relatable way. You can also ask your healthcare provider for resources designed for kids. Sometimes a video or a storybook can be a better way to get the message across than a conversation.

3. Maintain Routines as Much as Possible

While a medical diagnosis can make life feel unpredictable, children thrive on routine. Keeping up with regular activities—like going to school, playing with friends, or continuing their hobbies—helps create a sense of normalcy in their lives. Of course, some days may be harder than others, but maintaining consistency can provide comfort and support their mental health.

Tip:

If your child’s illness or treatments require them to miss school or activities, work with teachers or coaches to help them stay connected. A short video message from classmates or a modified activity plan can go a long way in helping them feel included. Maintaining a sense of normalcy or creating a "new normal" are primary goals of Pediatric Psychology.

4. Encourage Expression of Emotions

Children need to know that their feelings—whether they’re scared, angry, or confused—are always valid. Encourage your child to express how they’re feeling, and offer a safe space for them to talk. Some kids may not want to talk directly about their emotions, and that’s okay. Creative outlets like drawing, journaling, or playing can be helpful ways for children to process their feelings.

Tip:

Ask open-ended questions to help your child share what’s on their mind. Instead of “Are you feeling sad?” you might ask, “What was the hardest part of your day today?” Open ended questions elicit a more detailed response instead of "yes / no" answers.

5. Foster Connections with Other Kids

Sometimes it can be comforting for kids to know they’re not alone. If appropriate, consider connecting your child with support groups or other kids who have similar diagnoses. Many hospitals and medical organizations offer peer support programs where children can meet others facing similar challenges. This sense of community can reduce feelings of isolation and help them build resilience.

Tip:

If your child is shy or hesitant about joining a support group, you might want to start with virtual meetings or introducing them to just one peer at a time.

6. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Medical conditions can be stressful, not just for adults but for kids too. Teaching your child some simple mindfulness or relaxation techniques can help them manage stress and anxiety. Breathing exercises, guided imagery, or even gentle yoga can be great tools for calming their minds and bodies.

Tip:

Start with simple breathing exercises. For example, ask your child to pretend they’re blowing up a balloon by taking a deep breath in and then slowly exhaling. This can help them focus and relax, especially before a medical appointment or when they’re feeling overwhelmed.

7. Model Resilience

As a parent, your child looks to you for cues on how to cope. While it’s okay to feel your emotions, showing resilience and a positive attitude can set a strong example for your child. Let them know that while things may be hard right now, there are ways to manage, adapt, and find joy even in difficult times.

Tip:

When discussing your child’s treatment plan or doctor visits, frame the conversation in a positive light. Instead of saying, “We have to go to the doctor again,” you could say, “We’re going to the doctor to make sure we’re doing everything to help you feel better.”

8. Let them come to you

If your child is experiencing chronic symptoms, such as migraines, it is natural to want to check in with them regularly to ask how they are feeling. However, if they are distracted from pain or having a moment of relief, asking about pain can cause them to think about it which can trigger the pain to return. It is often best to plan that they will report new pain to you as needed, instead of caregivers repeatedly asking.

Tip:

Instead of asking "How is your head feeling today?" plan with your child that you will assume a headache may be present at any time and you will wait for them to tell you if it reaches above a certain level, such as a 5/10 in severity (or another predetermined level that is agreed upon with your medical provider). You could also use a color coded scale for communication, such as Green, Yellow, Red for your child to express their pain level. Pediatric psychology services can address healthy caregiver-child communication around symptoms and navigating high symptom days.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a child with a medical diagnosis requires patience, understanding, and lots of love. While the road ahead may have challenges, with your guidance and care, your child can learn to navigate their condition and continue to thrive. Remember, it’s not about having all the answers but being there to offer support and encouragement every step of the way.

A Note to Caregivers:

If you're concerned about your child's emotional well-being, don't hesitate to seek professional support. Therapy can be an invaluable resource for helping your child cope with difficult situations, develop resilience, and thrive despite their medical challenges.

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute psychological advice.

Remember: Every individual is unique, and the therapeutic approach will be tailored to their individual needs and circumstances.

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